LEARNING TO RELY ON THE WORD OF GOD
When I was hit
with Covid, it lasted for two weeks and a half of fever, join pain and anguish,
and then left me speechless for coherent talking for about an extra week,
I was outspoken
before about forceful vaccination, discrimination due to vaccine status, and as
always, I never took much care of myself regarding the virus as most people do.
I never looked for it, and I never encountered it. But it seems the devil
requested the Lord to shake me hard to see me fall.
On Sunday the 7th
of November of 2021, a young preacher, member of our small Christian community,
contracted covid while preaching in the CBD and was casting out demons from possessed
people. His father was concerned, and were in need of prayer and support, not
segregation. That Sunday after the service, we prayed for them, and on Monday afternoon,
I started feeling sick.
It did not come
to me by fooling around, or doing anything else but by doing the Will of God, Jesus,
who never ran away from sick people, because it was against the love He felt
for them. I did the same, fulfilling the pastoral duties of an elder brother,
because I serve the same Lord, Jesus of Nazareth. But I fell sick, and the struggle
started.
I had always in
my anti-vaccine speech, said not to force the vaccine on people, but to
segregate us if we were thought of being high risk; and to deny us medical
attention, and that would be enough. Well, I never requested help, and was
neither offered to me, even when they came to take my mother to hospital, when
she was officially diagnosed with the Covid I pass her a week after. But
knowing that I had the sickness, they never even offered to help in anyway.
Just for the record.
So, I was left
alone in the house for a week, which seemed endless.
The Covid variant
I got is nicknamed in Australia, as the ‘Dog’s tail’ syndrome. It takes longer
than the usual two week, sometimes even up to 6 weeks; and comes and goes, it
is not a steady process, with constant high temperature.
In 30 years, I never
got sick. Not even a cold. But this time, it hit me hard. High temperature
started and it came full blown by Tuesday evening. I wasn’t able to continue
working, so I stopped my newly started business, since I was banned from work
for being unvaccinated and forbidden by the government to be employed again
until I comply. I was truly left without income.
Then Satan
kicked in:
1 – The fevers
became constant, as the lack of energy, mental confusion and join pain and
spasms took over. As well as the lost of appetite and smell, which ended up
casing a 30 kilos weight loss, eating just an apple or a banana a day.
During the day,
I could not sleep, and during the night, even when I was exhausted to the max. Two
voices came to my head, trying to induce me to renegade my Lord Jesus and his
faith.
Satan always
tries to reason with me. To seduce me to his cause, then later uses passions to
still induce me to follow. I know his tricks for more than 30 years. It has not
changed his system with me in so many decades. Or maybe GOD does not allow it.
But this time
the voices suggested that I was wrong, that God had destroyed my work because
it was evil, and that I was going to Hell. Then I said, what was evil about
it?. We pray, we read the Word of God, and celebrate the Lord’s Supper, and we
did it because the Churches had closed their doors on people, and were acting
more like a government department than the Church of God. What was evil about
it?
2 – Then softly
the voices started telling me that I was going to die. That my life was going
to be cut short because I wasted my life in Bible college and preaching in
internet, instead of really serving God as I should have. And a ‘peaceful’
feeling came over me, trying to make me feel that really Jesus never existed,
that God is a concept pass human understanding that I will find in the other
life. To just surrender to it and let myself be taken there.
To this, I
became alarmed in my dreams. I said, what was wrong with studying the Word of
God? Had not I learned a lot since I started 7 years ago, knowing that there
was no money in it and was only used to serve the Kingdom of God? And wasn’t I
preaching in internet because I was banned from the Anglican Church as a minister
forever for refusing women ordination, and so other churches did too? It wasn’t
my choice.
And furthermore,
how could I feel peace by denying Christ? That will be eternal damnation. To
this, I said in my dream, “You are a liar Satan”, and waking up I yelled in a
loud voice:
“JESUS CHRIST,
SON OF GOD, YOU ALONE I KNOW AS MY GOD AND MY LORD, YOUR FATHER YHWH IN HEAVEN,
WHOM YOU LET ME KNOW, AND YOUR HOLY SPIRIT. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU WANT TO TAKE ME
NOW, OR IF I WILL PASS YOUR JUDGEMENT OR NOT. I ONLY WANT TO TELL YOU THAT IF I
DIE TONIGHT THAT I LOVE YOU, AND THAT I HAVE ONLY WORSHIPPED YOU TO THE BEST OF
MY ABILITIES ALL MY LIFE, AND TO FORGIVE MY SINS. AND I CONFESS YOU AS MY ONLY
LORD AND MASTER, AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. THESE ARE MY LAST WORDS FOR YOU,
I DIE LOVING YOU”
Immediately the
voices stopped for the night, and I slept for the first time in days.
3 – In the third
opportunity, I started losing air in my breathing. After a week and a half. I
was alone, and that is what I feared the most. That night the voices came back
and told me how a friend said two years ago that if I ever got Covid, I was
going to die because I was fat, and that will kill me in three days. Maybe God
made me suffered these days because of my sins, and that now He will kill me by
cutting my air supply and die like Satanist do, in asphyxia, because I was
predestined to Hell all along. And that I will do well in killing myself before
that unbearable suffering came upon me, and die insulting that ungrateful God.
All consumed by
fear, I dreaded asphyxia and thought about Ridley and all the Reformation
saints who died burning and drowned in water, and I prayed to God in anguish
and at the border of desperation to please give me the strength I needed to
support that suffering. And suddenly in days, I heard a heavenly voice repeating
the word of the Bible:
“God is
faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear” (1Corinthians
10:13)
Then I started
crying and said in dream like state, Where are you my Lord? Why do you leave me
alone with these two voices? Where are
you in this suffering? The same voice
that mentioned the Bible verse, who was not God, since I know his voice, said
to me: “He is watching. He knows. Be strong”.
After that, my
son called me that morning, telling me that he was going to bring me Ventolin,
since allergy levels were high for the last three days. I never had problems
with the breathing after that night.
FINALLY, the voices,
after tormenting me with many more thoughts, but been the ones I mentioned the
worse ones; left me on Wednesday early morning, around 5 o’clock am. The Virus
had gone from my system, like it came it left. It was not gradual. It was sudden.
Then strength came back to my body and certain coherence in speech and
movement. I prayed to God more calmed, Why were you not by my side Lord? Is it
because of my pride? Where were you all along?
The Heavenly
voice now came up, and said:
“God is being watching
you all along. He has fed you, and protected you from death and loss of air;
and now you know more about death than before, and it is real, use it”
The business had
deposited the money. Some donor had deposited money without a name in my bank
account, and my children had been close to me bringing me food every day, all
after my mother left for hospital.
I know now more
than ever, that JESUS is there always, and with Him, the whole Trinity. And
even when things go seriously wrong, God is there watching over you. Even when
all seems lost, He is in control totally. And when we pray, even when it seems
that He is not listening, He is there, listening in silence, but you are NEVER
beyond from his protection.
Finally, all
came back to normal. And my faith became stronger, and my soul in good condition.
I went through
this nightmare they call Covid, with prayer, Bible reading, and Hot tea, lemon
and honey, and Codral for the pain. NOTHING ELSE.
Do I still
reject the vaccine? YES.
Do I need the
Medical assistance? NO.
Like in one occasion
when the two voices said to me: “Pray to mother Mary, she will help you, then
Jesus will listen”. And I said to them: “I
love Jesus. If He wants me, He will talk to me; and if He doesn’t, I don’t want
anyone’s help but His alone”.
I learned that sometimes
life can be all confusing and complicated. That not even our emotions or logic
can be trusted. BUT THE BIBLE is always there, to clearly show us the Will of
God on a matter, any matter, pass beyond our personal emotions and shortcomings.
I also learned
even more, the only two times I heard my Lord JESUS’s voice saying:
“ANYONE THAT
COMES TO ME, I NEVER SEND AWAY”
John 6:37
Omar Flores
Melbourne, 1 December
2021.
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